Ponds will decay, but streams will turn into rivers.

Get rid of inertia, Pursue your dreams, and Make them come true. 

Chapter 1

‘Twenty years from now, you will be more

disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by

the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail

away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds

in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.’ – Mark Twain

Set sail soon.

Be a doer and give wings to your dreams.

For over a decade, I have been mentoring and life coaching many men and women to help them develop a healthy mindset and lead a happy life with high self-esteem and peace of mind. Being happy, having self-esteem, and maintaining a peaceful mind are the three main pillars of a meaningful life for every person. True joy will emerge from a person’s inner self if one feels valuable about oneself and if one feels their life is worthy and meaningful. If one attains such a mental state, their life will lead to what they really want to do with their life and live harmoniously with the planet. There is an age-old argument about whether life is predetermined or coincidental. My long-term quest and exploration in this area, have led me to realise that life is a blend of both, events are predetermined but there is enough room for either an amazing or lacklustre performance. Depending on how you approach life’s events, the repeated pattern of such events may diminish and you can transform your life from bad to good, good to great and great to the best. 

Life on this planet is designed to be a process of soul elevation. Every soul is on a journey to its ultimate light. Each life is an opportunity to elevate the soul’s potential and purity. In my imagination, the process is like the purification of some oil in Ayurvedic medicine. For example, a herbal oil that’s 101 times purified. The ingredients include sesame oil and cow’s milk, along with some herbs , roots, and water. The process is time-consuming because it has to be purified 101 times. The liquid components of the ingredients are added to the oil and heated until the water evaporates. The process has to be repeated101 times!

Consider a cupboard with 101 vertical shelves. After each purification process, the oil bottle will be stored in ascending order. For example, it’s already been purified 23 times and kept on the 23rd shelf. The maker then takes it out for its 24th purification and keeps it outside. She then gets a call from her friend and gets distracted. Numerous activities follow and by the time she returns to the task of purifying the oil for the 24th time, the sun is setting and she has to stop for the day. where does she keep the oil? Is it the 23rd shelf? The purification process is not yet done. It cannot be stored on the 24th shelf.  The oil has to remain on the 23rd shelf.

Our life is like that. We are all born with a bundle of events. From birth to death, serious of events take place whether we like them or not. Everything that happens, whether big or small, has a purpose in our lives. It is important to understand that each event has a seed of wisdom at its core. To get that wisdom seed, the person should accept the event. It might be a pleasurable one or it might not be as pleasant. Sometimes the event may be painful or cause sadness; whatever it is, one must accept it. This is the fundamental step. These events are predetermined to process you to a higher level of consciousness and purity. In the morning, you rush to school with your kids in a car and you notice your car’s tyre is flat. Is this an event you had expected? Is the event happening with your permission? Every event is filled with a certain level of wisdom. You can react to the event in many ways.  It can be as stressful or calm as your reaction to it. It doesn’t help you to get upset or angry . Either emotional states do not help you to erase the event. If you are skilled and you have the time, you can replace the tyre. Or you deal with it later and follow your priority, which is to take your kids to school on time. Later, you can call a mechanic to replace the tyre. There are numerous ways to deal with an event. The choice you make determines your future journey. If you accept the event your anger will vanish. And you can peacefully think about some solutions. Everyone is intelligent enough to overcome the challenges that life throws at them. We are blinded when the emotions overpower us. It leads to a slew of illogical conclusions and unnecessary angsts.

After accepting the event, you can then select the solution that gives you confidence and then you can put the solution into action. The next time, when something similar happens you can deal with it much easier with out breaking a sweat.

The events are predetermined but how we handle them can change the pattern of events that appear in each person’s life. You may have noticed that the person who quarrels with his mother may have the same kind of mother-in-law, wife or daughter in his life. Nobody can avoid the events or the universal lesson. When we are ready to learn from the events, they may not repeat in a person’s life. Nature doesn’t want to torture you; she just wants to impart awareness and consciousness to elevate your soul into a much higher vibration. If you are willing to learn from an event, why should it keep repeating itself? You have already gained the wisdom the event had to impart, and so it will not repeat. A question may pop up in your mind while you read these sentences. “What do you mean? Will my car tyre get a flat again in the future?” Certainly, it could be punctured again, many times. However, you may not be as upset as you were the first time you encountered it. You can easily handle this kind of situation. A seasoned sailor would be unflustered by a terrible storm. It might make him a little uneasy, but he knows how to manoeuvre the ship in such a situation. He will not question fate, but calmly accepts knowing that he maintains control of the situation and safely navigates the ship in the storm. 

Life has ample room to allow the soul to evolve to a higher level. This journey gives you opportunities, a stage to perform your best, rewards, love, acceptance and abundance. You have no control over events, but you do have control over how you respond to it. If you can handle such events in your own way, you will attain wisdom, eventually you will become the master of your life.

For the sake of understanding, let’s imagine you reacted to the incident involving your car in less than ideal way. You may have called your partner and complained about how unhappy your life is at the moment and been abrupt with your children etc. All you are doing is spreading negative energy. In short, you ruined your day and everyone else’s day. You also showed them how not to handle a situation and potentially passed down a distractive pattern to them. Does this give you happiness and peace of mind? Of course not! 

It is crucial to take responsibility while dealing with any events in your life. Examine the thoughts that led to your solutions before taking any action based on them. Is it fear based, ego based, or societal norms that are forcing you to take certain decisions. The solutions born out of these states of mind may not help you most of the time. But if you could formulate a solution out of a positive state of mind, constructive thoughts, humanity, love, compassion and an universal perspective, the solution would help you lead a pleasant and happy life.

Over the years many of my female clients have asked me a question. I don’t get asked this question from any of my male clients. However, I have heard many statements from my male clients that implicitly imply the same concern as the questions directly asked by my female clients. “I have worked in programming for the last 20 years, I need a break from my current job, I have been doing marketing for a long time and I am tired of it and I need to chill out before doing something different .” Men make such statements instead of asking the very direct question most women ask in a straightforward manner which is , “How do I do what I want to do?” “Could you please help me set a path to make my dreams reality ?”

Over the years, I have observed the difference in approaches to life’s problems between men and women. In many real-life situations, it’s not possible to understand a woman’s mind quite easily. Many describe how complicated it is for a man to understand and read a woman’s mind in the right way. However, in actual counselling sessions the situation is quite the opposite. Women ask questions directly with a clear sense of purpose, while men seem to beat around the bush with regards to their life problems. Women open up honestly about their problems once they feel they can trust their life coach or counsellor. They sincerely want to come out of the web of their problems. They request direct assistance in resolving them. Also, they are dedicated to doing the required therapies and daily practises even though each one requires a certain amount of time and effort. Gaining the trust of a female client is also an effortless activity. They have an extra-sensitive antenna to gauge the genuineness of the person they are dealing with. Be frank , be original, and above all be honest. I’m not trying to make a gender specific comment. I am sharing my observations. Those observations substantiate the resilient capacity of a woman in an adverse life situation. I believe women attained this resilient capability because of their straightforward approach to their life whatever the situation. 

Those who choose a career for its prospects or swim with the current eventually experience boredom thus demanding a break . They are also searching for ways to make their dreams a reality. A break, some rest or a holiday might not help them unless they look a hard look at themselves. It involves a lot of introspection to finally realise what it is that they want from their lives and how they can have the life they have always dream of. 

At this point if you  have an exploring mind, you may ask, “Is it required that we do something in this life if our life is financially comfortable?” This enigma has been demonstrated numerous times by my clients. Many of my female clients are married and their spouses bring in the primary income for the family. Many others have inherited assets that provide comfortable income as rent, share dividends or bank interest. People with no such additional sources of income are also not that uncommon. However, because their spouse brings in money for the expenses , they may not be bothered much in their day to day lives. 

The question you should ask yourself is this , “Is it  necessary to do something in my life?” with a calm mind, ask yourself “ Do I have enough self-esteem to be happy and confident?” “Do I want to contribute my share to the world to make it a better place?” “Am I content with the way I live?” You can decide whether it is necessary to do something or not  based on the honest answers you hear from your inner self. 

Let’s proceed. There are three types of people in this context.

1. People who have dreams but don’t know how to actualise them.
2. People with energy and enthusiasm who don’t know what to do. Their potential has yet to be discovered.
3. People who have dreams and are working hard towards realising them. Some may experience momentary defeats but some may be lucky.

We can call them the dreamers, the spirited ones and the go-getters.

Whatever category you may fall under this book will take you on a journey that will reveal the secrets of turning your dreams into reality. It will help you find the right dream for your life purpose or teach you how to navigate the troubled waters of  defeats and sail into calmer waters towards your dreams.

Let the journey begin!